EAT DRINK LOVE

So after going about 3 months with the worst television Ive ever come in contact with, having completely run out of episodes of Glee and How I met Your Mother I decided to dive into the film Eat Pray Love. I have heard mixed reviews of the film, being a novel first I was a bit skeptical and quite frankly I never get around to reading a book before the film. Anyway, I was impressed. I was impressed because I feel like Liz is a perfect depiction of me. Of course I'm not in my 30s, divorced and Guru seeking but I feel her thoughts so familiar. I want to travel the world, eat carbs without remorse, learn a different language fluently, and fall in love...with myself.


I've started this excursion, or quest I guess. I was running before, and I guess I still am, at least I'm recognizing this. I'm running from my problems because I can never face them. It takes me long enough to check my bank balance so I don't overdraw  I hurt a few people before I left home. People I should have never hurt, people I love and deeply care about. I was selfish, lonely, and confused. I can't say that I have changed since I have been here, but I'm more conscious of the majority of my life. I have flaws, a lot of them. I trust too easily, I'm never satisfied and am always searching for something. I have no direction, I need a direction. I never wanted one until I came to Ireland. Like Liz in the film, I want to marvel at something. I want to set a goal and actually stick to it. Constantly I try new things, hobbies, things other people introduce me to, but I can never focus, or motivate myself to become really truly good at it. I'm not a good student, no I'm really not. I'll admit this much, and I'm sure that it correlates directly with me never being able to finish anything. My parents really should have taken me to a doctor at a younger age when I lying to teachers about crayon colors, and flushing a fellow classmates earings down the toilet. (Yes, this did happen) Of course I have grown and become what I think to be a good person. I love people, all people. Especially aged people. There is a beauty with age, they know things. Although there is such beauty with innocence and youth. I guess it's that balance, the balance I have yet to mention I believe in, the one that feels merely non existent these days. I'm on a dull road, melancholy, stuck with a routine that isn't a routine, or at least one I am not proud of. I want to be done with school.